New relationship after a breakup?

We all have been through a breakup or two (or twenty) that have left us broken, devastated, miserable, sitting in a dark room in our home clothes for days… eating junk food and ice cream for comfort and crying ourselves to sleep. Well, at least those of us who dare to admit it.
After a hard break up, especially after a serious, deep connection with someone over a long (or long enough) period of time… it gets harder to stand up again, mostly if the breakup was not peaceful or one sided… It gets even worse if there was cheating involved. The broken up with might suffer more damage than they realize… as this can affect one’s self esteem, trust in others… and in extreme cases, willingness to try anew with someone else.
When is the right time to move on? How can one move on if there were deep feelings involved in the previous relationship, or even when trust is broken? Some people find solace in just jumping into a new relationship… the first person to smile back at them… they jump into bed with them. Noting that the new person might have genuine feelings for them, or might just be after a shallow – no strings attached kind of thing… Nevertheless, someone ends up getting hurt, not to generalize… let’s say 99% of the time.
If we look at it this way… the person who is straight out of the relationship is emotionally vulnerable, jumping into something new might be good for a while… but if the person did not take enough time to process the breakup and get over it, those depressing feelings will come back – probably even stronger – when the fling is over. From another perspective, if the new relationship/partner is serious about them… the broken up with might not be ready to step into it so deeply, and they will at some point realize that all they are doing is comparing the current partner to the ex, loathing themselves for doing it… and sabotaging the new relationship and person on their way.
I won’t go into the details of why people break up… but sometimes partners walk away because they spent their time trying to find faults in their partner while the other tried to overlook theirs… In all cases, we are human. Just because we love someone now does not mean it will last forever. Unfortunately, the only thing that’s guaranteed to last forever is change. People change too, so do feelings, and if we love someone now, we might not anymore… a few months or even years later. And it’s important to let go, instead of become poisonous to each other. If one side is holding on to it, and the other is not even willing to try… that is not a relationship. No matter how much it hurts, it is better to stop things while they are still peaceful and try to move on, leaving things on good terms. Nobody likes having stalkers, or crazy exes… Yet again, hearts are bound to get broken… at least once.

What is important to remember is to take time to heal. To process the pain, to come to terms with it and try to move on. Life goes on, people grow apart… friendships end, new ones begin… people die, others get born… one day we hate something… the next we like it… so be patient. However, no two people suffer the same way. Each person mourns/deals with loss differently. You just need to find a way that works for you to heal yourself and move on. Just be genuine in what you do. This you owe to yourself. Otherwise you might end up breaking yourself on a deeper level. You won’t fool anyone for long… neither can you fool yourself. So my advice is, take the time you need, be honest with yourself about how you feel, and try not to jump straight into a new relationship/fling or whatever it is… unless you know you are ready to handle the consequences. Just saying…