Loving yourself?

What do we seek in life? I can only speak of myself... I seek meaningful connections.
Be it with people, with things, with knowledge, with places... Things that mean something, mostly to me. As I am trying to please myself and find happiness within me. Now note that this does not in any way mean that I am selfish, actually far from it. I am merely exploring my own depth and understanding the world around me, and why some things ring a bell inside me while others don't.

Have you ever thought about why we have certain likes and dislikes? Why we prefer some things over others? People? Places?


I acknowledge the fact that entourage, life events, childhood memories, etc, have some influence on us. But try to strip your mind of all that, disconnect yourself from the outside world and just try to go deep inside yourself... inside your thoughts, desires, ideas, perceptions, scents, sounds, sensations... try to understand yourself. Understand your own needs, your own fulfilment. What brings out the happiness in you? Not what makes you happy... nothing and no one "makes" you happy, really. You make yourself happy... the rest are mere triggers. Find the missing link between the two. Remember simplicity. Go back in memory to your childhood, to the time when you were a floating foetus in your mother's womb... try to recall the sound of her heartbeats, impossible you may say? Trust me, you have those memories, you just pushed them way too far inside your memory... but there is a way to recollect them, just like there is a way to find yourself again.

Why do we like someone's voice? Why do we warm up to certain people? Why can't we stand some people without ever interacting with them? What do they trigger in us? Do you ever wonder about these things? How often do you stop and think about these things? Not often, right? How often do you really express what you mean/feel in tough situations in all honesty? Not so often, right?

We live in a world where things are going so fast that it seems time is flying. Time is the same, our lives have become so fast paced... that we think we have no time for anything anymore.

A day is made of 24 hours, which we use or misuse depending on how structured and organized we are.

Most of us waste as much as 3 or 4 hours a day on meaningless things... you see where I am going, don't you? Yes, social media. Whether we are aware of it or not, we do waste time online.

How many of us have lost precious sleep hours at night by being distracted by a video here, an advertisement there, a link here, an article there... a picture here, a comment and like there...?

How many of us have piled up chores to "later" and ended up with procrastination for weeks for something that could have been done if given 10 minutes of focus?

Every type of laziness has a name nowadays... Everybody has some sort of disorder... some sort of syndrome. Where were all these syndromes 20 years ago, when the internet was not available to the public?

How did we communicate back then when cellphones were not out on the market yet? How did we go to appointments, visit people, meet up, interact...? Do you remember?

How many of us have chicken scratch handwriting nowadays due to all the typing we do on a daily basis?

How many of us are still able to truly "connect" on a deep level and be truly honest about themselves and their feelings, in real life, nowadays?

How many of us actually go out without spending an hour in front of a mirror (be it man, woman or child)?!

Sometimes one thought leads to another and another... until I feel like what once was making sense has become a broader phylosophical idea that no one wants to sit and ponder over.

When you're young(under 7 years of age) you're very good at being yourself, when you're old, you're good at being yourself and you stop needing to compromise, but the part that's in the middle is problematic. Because that's when you have to socialize, when you have to accommodate, to adapt... that's the time when one might develop an inferiority or superiority complex... or simply a complex. We become self-aware, self-conscious, insecure, overly self-righteous...etc. What happens to your interior? To you, what you really are?

How many do you know that don't possess their own personality... they spend their life gathering bits and pieces of other people's personalities to patchwork their own?

All I am trying to say is, look for what means something to you. Superficial things do not last. I am by no means an expert on anything... for all I know I am still on my own path of self discovery... and I am sure I will never cease to find and learn new things about myself until the day I die... but what I have experienced so far, despite all the ups and many, many downs... I love myself, I am proud of myself and the smallest things in life give me great joy and strength to keep moving forward.

It's alright to have an idea on what we want others to think of us, but let's not waste our lives trying to please them or let them decide what we ought to do with our lives. Let's free ourselves of all that influence and try to re-find our own individuality, our independence as people, our liberty of thought, our inner freedom. Be genuine, first with yourself, the world will not care. Those who love you will keep loving you, those who stop are not worthy of you. Your job is to be better at being yourself. Not adapting to other people's perception of you. Just take a week and stop trying to please others. Re-teach yourself to have the strength to say "no", when needed.  Re-claim control over yourself. Find the two extremes of your ego and take control over them. Feed the side that is responsible for self-congratulation, and heal the side that loves self-castigation.

I just hope this helps you in some way... if you need it.
If you are here reading this far, I am sure you need something, and I hope my words have helped you find what you are looking for.


Just remember to love yourself... that's my friendly heart to heart advice to you.


Just saying...